I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops