Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

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Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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