What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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when debbie meets downer

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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