A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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