There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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"stupid creationist" Perfect example of redundance.

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Netflix and chill

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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robin, get in the car.

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because they are not

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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