What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Continents are large islands.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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Stephen Hawking

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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I have suicidal thoughts

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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i have a christmas tree.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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