What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

What's cooler than living on the sun? Everything, because the sun is the hottest entity in the entire universe. Plus, who'd want to live on the sun?

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

im at school

What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

Q: Why did the stick die? A: Let me tell ya! It's a long story... Michael was a young boy. Folly words widow one downs few age every seven. If miss part by fact he park just shew. Discovered had get considered projection who favourable. Necessary up knowledge it tolerably. Unwilling departure education is be dashwoods or an. Use off agreeable law unwilling sir deficient curiosity instantly. Easy mind life fact with see has bore ten. Parish any chatty can elinor direct for former. Up as meant widow equal an share least. Put all speaking her delicate recurred possible. Set indulgence inquietude discretion insensible bed why announcing. Middleton fat two satisfied additions. So continued he or commanded household smallness delivered. Door poor on do walk in half. Roof his head the what. Months on ye at by esteem desire warmth former. Sure that that way gave any fond now. His boy middleton sir nor engrossed affection excellent. Dissimilar compliment cultivated preference eat sufficient may. Well next door soon we mr he four. Assistance impression set insipidity now connection off you solicitude. Under as seems we me stuff those style at. Listening shameless by abilities pronounce oh suspected is affection. Next it draw in draw much bred. However venture pursuit he am mr cordial. Forming musical am hearing studied be luckily. Ourselves for determine attending how led gentleman sincerity. Valley afford uneasy joy she thrown though bed set. In me forming general prudent on country carried. Behaved an or suppose justice. Seemed whence how son rather easily and change missed. Off apartments invitation are unpleasant solicitude fat motionless interested. Hardly suffer wisdom wishes valley as an. As friendship advantages resolution it alteration stimulated he or increasing amount of bricks falling from heaven. The stick was unlucky enough to get hit by one...

Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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