Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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Women

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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obama

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops