What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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Loner.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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what's brown and sticky A stick!

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

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The Earth is a nice place to live.

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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* anti-punchline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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