What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

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Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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The person below me is weird.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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