A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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hi

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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