Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

What is 1+1? It's 2!

Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

Wanna know something funny? Your face

Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

Where's my tractor?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex afender

Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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