What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

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Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A seal walks into a club.

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops