You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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Colby is gay.... thats it

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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Gays

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What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

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Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops