Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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What did a dodo do after his last meal? Become extinct

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

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why are you people on anti-joke? BECAUSE you have NO LIFE !

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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i cant think of one.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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