Roses are red Violets are blue classic

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops