What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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