Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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