"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Female Orgasms

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You dropped something.... Yo lip

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops