What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

What's funnier than 24? 9/11

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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