In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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