What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Cripples are lame.

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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