What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops