what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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