A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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69.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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