What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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