What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Potassium? K.

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

Burp

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

White men's rights

Poop

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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