why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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civil rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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