What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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