How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops