Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How old is victor? Half past dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Rebecca Black's career.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops