Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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