why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

Seriosly. too much sex again?

A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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