A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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