What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

Whats White and sticky? Semen

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

Kyle grund parker coffey

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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