Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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