a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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What's 9+10? 19

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops