Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How old is victor? Half past dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops