A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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