wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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