Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Suck pussy

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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