Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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One, two, three, four and five

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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