- Anti Joke

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but Human testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

Your're racist.

An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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