-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Gustavo Andrade

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Jesus Christ

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops