Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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