Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

I haven't left my basement in 29 years

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...