How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Gustavo Andrade

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops