Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Kevin and Ramin

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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