What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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Women's rights.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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