Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Roses are flowers.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Oh, go away

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Take part of what?

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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