How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Cancer

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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