One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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roses are red poo is poo

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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