How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

What's upside down? umop apisdn

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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