Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops