Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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I am a mime

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops