Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

Justin Bieber

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...