Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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