did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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