Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops