Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

A baby seal walks into a club.

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...