What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Denard Robinson

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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