Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops