What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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How old are you? 7

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Read a Book.

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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