Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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