What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down -40

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Allah walked into AK Bar

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops