What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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