What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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