A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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