What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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karn chevalier

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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