A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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