If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

WNBA

Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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