A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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Knock Knock.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops