Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops