what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

Balls

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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