- Anti Joke

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops