Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

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people magazine

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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