A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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