What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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