Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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