There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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