Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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