Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

123 f*ck off

How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

Drew Knowles is gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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