What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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