Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What rhymes with milk...milf

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops