What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops