knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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Dumb

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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