Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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