whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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I? Everett

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Tunechi

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Yes

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops