Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops