Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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