A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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