so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Dumb

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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