Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Dumb

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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