when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

Knock knock, COME IN!

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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