why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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